i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
