so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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