the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
