i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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