he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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