how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
