my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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