That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
