there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
