Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
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A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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