Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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