It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
