I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
