He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
