I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
My dick has a subreddit
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize