best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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