So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize