This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
