How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
