we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
