so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
