that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
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