we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize