You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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