Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
A+ Viking dick
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
