my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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