I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
