im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
