at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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