I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
