hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I could make wine with my vomit
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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