yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize