just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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