does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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