Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
