awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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