Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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