Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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