.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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