i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
