He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
