he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
