Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
