He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
