I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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