he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
