hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
