The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
