oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
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I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
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I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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