420 ftw
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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