I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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