As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Two words: nipple clamps
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