So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
