One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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