doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
