There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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