Jerry, you need to find god
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize