Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
