remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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