3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
