if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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