i think my tv is drunk
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
