When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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