Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
