I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
