i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
