He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
