So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
