"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
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She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
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I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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