I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
