do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize