I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
